38

Friday, November 06, 2009 at 1:17 PM
Two days ago was my 38th birthday. Until now, it has been painless - fortunately! Last year's was a bit more traumatic experience as I recall it due to the existential ghosts that fly above me all the time. But in this last one, I've felt so far much more resignation of what it is and of how it is. I realize now that even though there are still some missing pieces and some unchangeable others as well, there's no need to worry about them. I feel a bit more tranquil regarding that aspect and acceptance of the facts has become my free floating mantra.

One thing I've noticed though a hint of growing impatience with people. Whenever the opportunity arises, I can throw myself, fangs upfront, to the throat of the unfortunate in turn and leave him until I have satisfied my need for remarking how this or how that that person is (to my eyes, that is). This is nasty, I know and I dislike myself whenever I catch me doing it. I'm working on it, little by little (or at least this is what I say to myself), but at least I'm acknowledging it and that is a first step.

On the other hand, confidence has been strong. I guess the realization of the age has helped me in the realization of myself. I mean, I haven't changed whatsoever in my behaviors nor in my activities nor communication ways. The place where this realization acts within me is in my "been there/done that" bone. Is not that I've become a snob or a know-it-all or any other kind of pompous bastard with attitude, is more of knowing you may have information and experience previously recorded into your hard disk, and letting it work for you as your frame reference and as your opinion builder. Not that it was not happening before, it's just that now you can really mean it. Or I don't know, maybe it's just myself and my 'pink panther/chabelo' personality that has always found its way to show up and twist reality for me.

I've always considered myself as one of the 'good kind' of people, mainly because I would never do something (consciously at least) to harm somebody's feelings. The thing is that this way of avoiding to cause a trauma on someone else have had always a side effect: you can be perceived as fool, and that can really make me 'grind my gears'. One thing is that you're a nice guy and don't mention what's wrong to avoid hurting somebody's feelings, and another one is that you're an idiot who can not see what is wrong.

What I've learned is that truth and sincerity has to be said always, regardless of any feelings damaged. It is just wrong and useless to be polite and nice when what it is needed is the real answer. I mean, this has never been a big issue with standard people, but whenever this event happens with a close dude, you don't want to make him/her feel bad/sad etc. But that is harmful for both parties, you and them, being the most critical oneself of course.

So, this self-realization has been helping me achieve a more real/cut-the-crap kind of person. Or at least I'm trying to. Also, a strong inspiration from fellow friends and international acquaintances: French, Russians, Americans and even Canadians with their openness and laid back attitude are very good at this.

Honey Coloured Time

Monday, April 20, 2009 at 9:05 PM
Well, this one's worth of posting for sure...
It all began one afternoon around 22 years ago, with me and my friend RomiBoy hanging out as usual outside his apartment. A neighbor and another dude, Erick, whom we both knew as well, came looking for my friend to ask him if he would be interested in playing the guitar in their band. RomiBoy liked the idea and started talking about the band and so on. I got myself involved in the conversation as I had also things to mention regarding rock and groups - my elder brother recently became the drummer for a band- and also because I really wanted to get my hands on whatever kind of shennanigan that could happen out of this. So they set up a date for the next day and this and that and then appeared the moment to jump into the wagon: "Hey, can I come?" -Sure dude! Awesome! All of a sudden I was presented with the opportunity of being in a room with an electric guitar, amps, speakers and a drumkit... neat!

I called another friend, Eduardo, whom I knew would be also interested in attending the occasion and then there we were, the next day on our way to a rock practice -or a jam, which is how 'hard rockers' call these sessions. So by the time we got there, these guys put their guitars and stuff in the room and we would go grab some beers as we needed to wait a bit for the drummer to get home - it was his house. So just before going for those beers, I couldn't resist the temptation and sat in the drummers chair with a pair of drumsticks in my hands. "May I?" I asked politely and they all went 'Yah, of course, sure, go crazy!' Wohoo! The first thing that came to my mind was the beginning of Zeppelin's 'Rock 'n Roll', with the hi-hats and such and such, so I played it the way I thought it was supposed to be played. I guess it wasn't that bad because a little bit later that same evening Erick gave the finger to the other dudes and asked me and Eduardo if we would like to play with him and form a new band. Awesome! RomiBoy became our first fan/roadie/groupie/guest member.

We began to hang out often after the deal got sealed, and began to talk about the newly born band. For such sessions, which happened mostly in a VW where we drank vastly amounts of good beer while driving all around the neighborhood while listening music and chatting, I prepared a tape with all these new bands that my brother had brought home recently. This tape, had 'Pesadez' (Heaviness) written on one side and 'Espesez' (Thickness) on the other as a way to describe what kind of songs I have chosen to feature in the cassette. One side began with Blue Cheer's 'Summertime Blues' and that was followed by Budgie's 'Nude Disintegrating Parachutist Woman', the Masters Apprentices' 'Lesson So Listen', Night Sun's 'Got a Bone of my Own', Damnation's 'No Way', etc., all of them from the era in which hard rock was created, pure and original, loud, heavy and really thick. This tape played over and over in the car's stereo during every moment we were driving around. Not so long after, we all had these songs as part of our perpetual inner soundtrack molding our perspective towards rock music. We were very proud of this and we all felt this strange rejoice of letting the world know that. By that time, we all had made our homework on the bands playing in 'Espesez/ Pesadez' and were quite confident about them, even though it was a total mystery who they were or where they were from, or such; most of them came to us as that: a couple of songs in a tape. No more information. But still, we could identify the differences, how many musicians were in each group, the arrangements, odd time signatures, instruments, etc., and we all loved them.

By the time in which we needed to choose a name for our band, I suggested the name 'Squeet', like the 1st song on side 'Espesez' by a band called May Blitz. We all three liked the idea because it was a great unique type song, with a great bass groove and amazing fuzz guitar and impossible beatings on the drums, also because it was a made-up word that only the band would know its meaning, and also because we all thought that May Blitz was one of the greatest rock trio who unbeatable portrayed what hard rock music was for us. And we, being a trio as well, simply thought of it as a great omen. And I think we did quite well.

What are the chances to hear about any of those bands again, now that more and more years have passed by? All those bands had at least 15 years old when I first heard of them, and now adding some 22 years more? The chances are very few I'd say, specially because most of them were underground bands that only few people would know about them, and probably they only released a couple of albums, or simply disappeared after their first. And those would be the chances of hearing about them in these days, imagine the chances of watching them in a performance or anything. I guess even fewer.

Last Saturday, after verifying some incredible information received from my friend Alejandro, my Gaby and yours truly headed on to Neptoon Records, where the Independent Record Store Day was celebrated. Bands playing, beers and lots of people everywhere in the store. I had my albums under my arm and a pen in my pocket ready for whatever thing that could happen there. Couple of guys stopped me to inquire about them or simply to mention they love them. The drummer of one of the bands recognized me from my phone call the day before and was hopeful in 'them' coming to the event. The bands kept on playing and Gaby and I kept on looking around, standing in the stairs with the main entrance right in front of us, hoping to see what we were there for.

The day before, when 'verifying' that info, I found this guy's myspace page with current information and photos, one of them showing how he looks like these days. Well, that is how I could recognize they had entered the room, watching that same face there walking towards me, behind 2 other guys who looked his age. He was actually the first to notice the albums under my arm and began looking at me, and then to the records, and then me, then the records, up and down with a strange smile on his face. They all walk right in front of us and when the 3rd guy was just there, I greeted him and presented the albums and the felt pen. He gladly accepted, asked my name and proceeded to give me his autograph. He thanked me, I thanked him and kept on his way to the back of the shop where his fellows were waiting for him. An older lady behind us asked me how he was 'cause she couldn't recognize him, so I showed her the photo in the inner spread of one of my albums when 'he' came back to me, almost grabbed me taking me with him to meet his mates. The other 2 guys shook hands with me, asked on how I knew and this and that. They signed my albums, chatted with me, took photographs with me, inquired on how and since when I knew them, etc. On my side, I was astonished, really impressed and thrilled. According to Gaby, when I was writing my email to them my hands were shaking. I tried to explain the best i could on the impact they have had in my musical life -which is a BIG part of the whole thing- and answered any questions they had about me. That is when I remembered, when I realized the deepness of their influence and inspiration to me, and I said: 'As a matter of fact, my first band ever was called 'Squeet'' - No way! Really? - they replied, - your band was called after one of our songs?

Meeting May Blitz was something unreal for me, one of the 'top shelf' experiences without any doubt. During the rest of the weekend, and even on Monday I felt dizzy and my mind kept on going back to those moments. Prior to this, chatting with Carl Palmer was my highest point, but having met and talked and the signatures and such with a band whom I have worshiped ever since the first time I listened to them is simply incredible for me. Its hard to express how this experience has affected me in a good way, that is why I've written the longest of my posts so far. And there's a big chance of meeting them again!

Movies frenzy

Wednesday, November 05, 2008 at 1:13 PM

During my day off this last Tuesday due to my 37th springs walking the phase of this land of God, I laid down on the coach all day long slowly mutating into a skinny starch vegetable. If I wouldn't have had "needs" (i.e. bathroom, munchies, etc) I would have been there all day long growing mushroms around me.

As I knew beforehand about my potatoe-ing activities that would take place on my day off, I went down to BlackDog video to rent some indulgences. About 6 more movies were added to my ongrowing list that day, unfortunately not all of them really leaving some mark in my catalogue. The only ones that standed out apart from Cinmea Paradiso -which we've seen on various occassions before but love to re-suffer- were '10,000 BC' and 'Videodrome'.

'10,000 BC', a recent movie which contained all the special digital effects and ultra high production was, for a change, very nice. A simple story with beautiful photography and some really exciting scenes very well done. I'm not that sure, but I guess the cast there is still into the not-so-well-known actors, giving the movie an extra credit, just as with '300'. Very refreshing to see a story so apart from all the remakes or the tv shows turned movies or the silly-funny-silly movies or all the crap that has been coming out lately as for commercial stuff goes. Oh! and of course, this is just my humble opinion. I'm just a movies fan with a bit of mileage under my hood already and this are just my overall commentaries about what I like and don't like. This one I liked, not to put it on my top shelf maybe, but still quite good and entertaining.

Now, 'Videodrome'. I know who Cronemberg is and what kind of movies he can come up with, so for starters I knew this one was going to be watched it with no Gaby around -she looooves this kind of movies. Also, when I gave the dvd box to the girl at the videoshop she guttured something like 'this is some crazy shit'. Ok, so some shocking movie to indulge with. Nice.

As many of Cronembergs movies, this one contained high doses of physical gooey alterations and hallucinations and bizarre stuff overall. 'Snuff' was a term probably too new or advanced for the time in which it was filmed -sometime around 1981 I think. The story is good, made sense to me for a fiction-horror plot. James Woods is very good and even Debbie Harry is fine there as well. But most of all the things that standed out from it to me were a couple of scenes, very well achieved I'd say. The 2 of them have a tv set traspassing the boundaries of a 'regular performance' for such character. I really liked when Max (James W.) 'immerse' into the bursting screen sized lips of Nicky. That one is a really cool scene. The other is similar but this time the screen stretches out of the tv like pointing forward, changing from static noise to skin-like texture. Very nice.

The movie ends up with a visceral explotion and some kind of suicide-liberation within an uncertain reality. Hmmm, ok, at the very end not that shocking I must say, but still it is crazy shit. From the movies I've seen from him, this could be one of the freakiest, but without a doubt 'Naked Lunch' is THE freakiest of them all. I still have engraved in my brain those scenes in which the insect-typewritter begs for more dope to be introduced into his ...huh... well, that is some crazy shit indeed. By the way, just remembered that SOMEBODY NEVER RETURNED MY COPY!! Hate when that happens! so much music and movies lost that way. Well, not precisely lost 'cause they are still sitting in someone elses shelves, not in mines. Well, hmmm... 'what else? 'Exiztenz' was good from him as well, but I remember hating 'Crash'. Anyway,'Videodrome' is a great movie for cult fans.
Thursday, October 16, 2008 at 9:58 PM

Lots of things going on lately. Some of them stand out stronger than others, those being a terrible cold with whom I've been struggling for the last 2 weeks, an insane urge to play my drums and trip away, paperwork and bureaucratic processes regarding M. Laurent and the latest wave (flood?) of memories.
It's been a fine time lately, very busy at times, quite introspective at others. Been regrouping and setting up in fresh places all the values, priorities, visions and goals. I feel strong and confident, also creative and productive. I've been feeling this constant 'bum bum' sensation in the back of my soul, like a propeller pushing me to no place in particular other than forward, ahead, adelante. And I like it!
I have plenty of homework and the most difficult part is finding some time to do it but I'm doing my best to free up some space so I can sit down and do my very own 'chores'.
The COW is coming along great. Todd is doing a magnificent job giving to the music a vivid colour and much more depth and richness. The sleeve art is also beginning to mould into a neat being. Very pleased with the whole thing. Finally!
Stone In is getting better everyday. It's very hard to try and explain the fullness and rejoice it produces. Also, lots of things going on with it. Plenty of material recorded: audio, video, graphics, and its all very very good. In fact, I'm kind of amazed. And overall, its so fun to stone-in...
Getting back into photography as well, after a long period of lameness and shallow clicking. At the end, decided upon a neat Sony A200 which gives me enough room and tools to do my visual tripping. Oh, glorious depth of field, how I've missed you!
Well, I guess that's all for now of my randomness. I'd better go back to bed with Chicken before she goes medieval on my ass for not coming to sleep...




20 years ago

Thursday, September 18, 2008 at 10:16 PM


Yes, I know... again, ages since my last post. The reason? Euh... I guess a lot, being the main one probably just merely amnesia or perhaps I've been distracted by some other shiny things.
So, ok, apparently I'm back on blogging. The reason? (hate to admit it) but the whole Facebook phenomena. Today I found that through your facebook page you can show your updates in your blog and blah blah blah. This, thanks to a mate from my early days that requested votes or something like that for his blog. Then I remembered "I have one, maybe I should do the same -as if somebody would really be interested in reading random nonsense written directly out of my silly little head, of course. BUT the thing is that, yes, I decided I should go back to my posts and share my inner-self with the world.
Also, I would like to note that, even though I'm not that keen about the facebook thingie, lately it has become much more interesting and hmmm... tasty due to the fact that many people from my elementary and junior high have been arising from the underworld. Man, it really is exciting, amazing and a constant turn on to find out about people that spent so many years by your side, even without you actually wanting to or having any control over that. Classmates are like co-workers: people you don't choose or pick from a list in order to be a part of your life. And I'm not saying this with disrespect, I just want to make the point that nobody really chose to be a part of that group of people or generation, it just happened. And now, after 20 or so years from that last day at school, seeing pictures of 'now' and 'then' really makes me shiver and laugh and think and... such an amazing feeling. Seeing my friends and mates as fathers, husbands mothers and/or wives is just crazy. I even heard about some divorce and everything! Fortunately, haven't heard of anybody already in the long trip, its too early I guess. But yes, it has been a wonderful and fresh last few weeks of re-discovering the roots.
And it is thanks to the Facebook! Cheezus!

Laughing Gas

Friday, November 16, 2007 at 2:27 PM


Unfortunately, seems that these series haven't been compiled as a dvd box set yet, so finding this clips in youtube brings such an amazing joy. The Inspector (Clouseau) was part of the Pink Panther Show broadcasted in the late 60's. Every show had 2 PP episodes and one from The Inspector in between them. As far as I remember, everyone of them was really good, not a weak one or a not that funny, all of them were truly gems of cartoon humor.
Above is one of those episodes that through the years have become very hard to forget. In other words, a beauty. I specially enjoy as a madman the scene when they crash their car thanks to a laughing gas cloud above them, and cracking out loud of laughter they recap how many broken bones they have and how deadly painful it is. I'm really glad to have found this one in particular, because the spanish dubbing is amazingly good. I would really like to listen to the original one just to see how well was realized from the beginning (or if it is really true about mexican dubbing). Enjoy...

Brujeria

Wednesday, October 31, 2007 at 11:57 AM


Movies, movies, movies... humm, well, the one that comes to mind directly related to witches, witchcraft, demons, evil and 'real' obscure thingies is Haxan, a silent movie from the early days of cinema, portraits stories about the old days in witchcraft. Nice documentary that can be accompanied with your preferred choice of music as soundtrack (personally, I listen to Art Zoyd and UZ).



As a matter of fact, I assisted to a screening at the Palacio de Bellas Artes in Mexico City, where this film, and Murnau's Nosferatu and Faust were proyected one each evening, while Art Zoyd (featuring personal hero Daniel Denis from UZ) sonorized and musicallized live the flicks. From any angle seen, it was awesome, one of the coolest things I've witnessed. The theme, the music, the players, the band, the director, the stories, the photography...

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